Today when I look back in life, I realize that I have been quite stupid. I mean, I have had the fortune of knowing various people in life, some friends & some more. There have been times when I have taken those people for granted in my life. Now that life has paid me back in kind, I feel lost. But I wonder how I made those people feel in the past & I have this sick nauseating feeling that I kind of deserved it

Those people who cared for me, liked me for who I am, loved me inspite of who I was deserved a little better than me. The events of the recent few months make me realize of my mistakes in the past & the fact that I have been an asshole many a times in the past. I guess I needed a kick in my backside by someone unworthy to make me realize about my past mistakes

I have had people who have loved me inspite of the fact that I have not treated them well. So much so that even today if I fall sick, they would call & check on me. They still like me, care for me & maybe even love me inspite of what I have done to them. I do promise to myself that I would get back to them & if I do even 10% of what I have done for certain people in the recent past, that would probably reduce my sins a bit.

I placed the wrong person in the pedestal in my life & did crazy stuff to make that person happy. I learnt cooking new cuisines, ignored my friends & tried creating a perfect world for that person. I believe what I did for that person in maybe 6 months is more than what I have done for people who I have known for years. But then, if you do it for the wrong person you can never have the right results. You can't groom an elephant to run a race no matter how hard you try

So its time to call it quits, move on ahead with life & achieve what one is worthy of.

Sionara