What shapes character

Today morning when I opened my blog, I was thinking of topics to be written about - Options were

1) A GESC member's infatuation with a French girl and this time it was vice versa too

2) A hoity toity lady getting infatuated with a communist bong( lady uses a Chloe bag for hints)

3) Maximus trying to win the heart of this lady ( People are thoroughly bored with this now)

4) The greek tragedy/comedy, depending on which side u r that happens in **** reviews

5) Lack of single hot ready to flirt eligible men & women in office ( I opt for the latter but then there are few women who read these blogs, hence..........)

So whats left to write about - Voila, found the topic - This has played such an important part in shaping our characters that it feels like second skin( absolutely & definitely no pun intended) - Before we came in touch with this, we were young men & women trying to find our place in this world - Unsure & hesitant - This gave us the confidence in ourselves - made us believe in our abilities & encouraged us to do things which we would have been ashamed to do otherwise - Like strange non synchronised movement of body parts getting passed off as dancing

Most of you have guessed the topic by now - For those who arent a part of the useless Mensa Club, we are taking about alcohol - Comes in various forms, brands, sizes & prices - But they all have one wonderful ability of making you do things you wouldnt do otherwise - Like I walked for 10 kms pushing a bike in the middle of the night after drowing 7 glasses of Aristrocat whisky - For those single malt enthuthiasts, I was in college & wasnt related to the Onassis family.

I got introduced to this heavenly concept when I was 15- That early exposure explains my suave & sexy behaviour - My friends chose to induct me with a concoction which men use to hide the fact that they dont like going to the gym - Beer. The first time you taste beer, the karela( bitter gourd for running water man) which you were forced to eat when you were a kid( pretext = good health) tastes heavenly - But boys dont become men till they persist - I followed the same principle till I somehow started loving it.As a result of which, I somehow became a fan of the German football team ( More reason to drink beer as they mostly never managed to win any major soccer tournaments, so I drowned my sorrow in more beer - Lovely vicious cycle)



I managed to upgrade myself from beer to whisky - For those of you who dont know about it, its the staple diet of truck drivers, punjabis, and all SEC C & D people - The higher form of human beings prefers a different species called Single Malt - The rustic villlager that I was chose to stick with truck drivers and started off with bottles which never costed more than Rs 300 ( a princely sum when u r not earning) - Genius, Aristocrat, Bagpipers and what not



Under the evil influence of whisky the list of crazy activities multiplied. For the sake of my image or whatever is left of it, shall refrain from most of them except one. Once we went drinking from college as were kicked out of class for not doing our assignment - We started drinking around 1 and finished at 4 ( afternoon) - I highly regard Einstein & physics in general when I am drunk and trying to sit on a bike without managing to fall off - That bike trip culminated in us reaching the college - I remember parts of it and rest was recounted by my non intoxicated friends - I walked like Amitabh Bacchaan in Sharabi in college at 4.30 in the evening like a elephant who hasnt mated for 2 years( for those of you who are curious about such elephants please go visit Kaziranga - and for heavens sake, dont go close to him) - Post walking, I managed to go to the library and tried to issue some books as well - And if all of this was not enough, I sat next to the water cooler thinking it was some extra terrestrial object and tried talking to it -

The consequences of such extremely honest behavious was quite catastrophic -

1) My girl friend didnt talk to me for a week

2) My colleagues downgraded me from a A++ buy rating to B-- sell

3) The librarian still hates me

4) The water cooler has still not given a reaction

I have finished this part of the blog. This blog would take the following steps

Step 1) Would write about my tryst with Rum, Vodka & Wine - More embarrasing stories

Step 2) Since I am not a narcissist, would talk about various ppl in office and what all they do after getting drunk. In case they have not displayed such behaviour, I shall use my vast imagination to concoct a story

The chosen few for the first round are

Chloe bag girl, Strange hair girl, dirty stare man, Maximus, Rural, Running water man

Rest dont worry - You would be covered in second round

When Caul met Cauli

For few of those of you who have seen "When Harry met Sally" & remember the orgasm faking scene in the restaurant would appreciate this article better - For those who have not still read on - Wouldnt like to deprive you of yet another great piece of writing ( yes yes, its not very modest)

Back to the General who has now broken every rule in the book on discipline which he co-authored himself - He's been absent for meetings, get togethers, funerals( poor soul), attacks on neighbouring countries and what not - His focus was completely on his lady love - They watched movies together, dined out, went to Karaoke pubs( General didnt sing for fear of damage to public property), etc - Such was his liking for the lady that he enrolled for dance classes - Salsa - General wanted to learn a flirtatious & sensual form of dance & his man Friday Sudhama suggested this - Salsa didnt turn out very well with General trying to copy his bhangra moves there - In this fusion of very constrasting dance forms, General damaged his ankle - Last heard Sudhama got transferred to some remote jungle in Arunachal Pradesh.

They say timing is everything in life - General had missed one chance in the dance floor and this wasnt to happen the next time. Luck struck when people of General's organization decided to hold a potluck where people were supposed to cook food and get it. General thought - Time to show the lady about how Kashmiri food can be cooked in Marrakesh spices - He got up at 4 in the morning to start cooking for her and at the end of 6 hours, a delectable dish was prepared - Kash Chicken Marrakesho - (translated it means "Wish the chicken does it" in Kashmiri)

The stage was set - The lady was supposed to start crooning General's name after tasting the food - So General walked in the party with his lady - They were a pretty sight when General dressed in a T-shirt proudly proclaiming Brigadier( dont they take titles seriously in army?) and his lady in ahem, what shall we say - very nice attire.
The stage was set, the food was to be eaten and then it would be history!!Unfortunately for the General we decided to play a game of Taboo before that - Boys vs Girls - General thought this is another chance to impress upon her his hold on the queen's language - The word which came to General was shoulder - Here is how it went
First 10 seconds - Various possible expressions a human being can make
Next 10 seconds - Clue - Used to trip people
Next 10 seconds - team members guessing legs, ankles, feet, body etc
Next 5 seconds - General shrugging his shoulders( Caught by opposite team and fined -1)
Next 10 seconds - His lady proclaiming why didnt u say the body part beneath the neck
Next 10 seconds - General looking like the atom bomb fell on his head
Last 5 seconds - He broked the taboo board for making him look like a fool
1 minute is over and General hasnt scored & also managed to scare his lady through his mildly(ahem) aggressive behaviour
Anyways whats human spirit but imdomitable? One defeat doesnt scare our General - He thought the food would make her forget every small & big folly of his( last heard folly count = 126) - He got up and served her the food along with a glass of red wine - Wow!!!!!! Reminded us of the scene in Cheeni Kum - Anyways we waited with bated breath till she tasted that heavenly food - She took a small bite - We all are waiting, time has stopped, birds are not moving and General's face resembles an employee waiting for his CPR results -

....................................................................................................................
Shriek - IS THIS NON VEG?

General has apparated to Hogwarts in a second - Apparently on their way here, she had told the General that she would be off non veg food for a month for some religious reasons and he forgot that in his zeal to expose her to his culinary skills
Hey whats this ? Ok General has managed to apparate himself back to the potluck venue's dustbin - And comes out of his with a sheepish grin!!! He gets a stare which could have frozen even the Hulk - that frozen stare would haunt General every moment in his life - Would she ever be his? what does he need to do to get her love?

For those of who are trying to make a co-relation to the Harry & Sally remark made in the starting, there is no co-relation - I was just trying to make the blog intriguing, thats it

Maximus - Love conquers all

Maximus is now a reformed man!!!! Love has changed him as an individual - He thinks the world is beautiful, people are good, relatives are genuine, Bush is honest and we all are paid well!!! The spring in his step is unmistakeable - The papparazi in office were desperately trying to find some scoop by rummaging thru his litter filled desk - And lo, they found a goldmine - The general had written a poem for his love and had poured all his emotions into that -For reasons of privacy and to protect my vulnerable neck from wringing, I shall present only the first four lines


It goes like this and I quote...
"Mine is a love that travels across boundaries

Boundries created by mindless souls

Taste knows no region nor cuisine

Who says Kashmiri biryani can't be made with Marrakech spices"!!!!!!!!!

Not quite Byron, but who built love castles in a day anyways?

But as sages have often wondered, does love also make people oblivious to sorroundings, people, loved ones, loathed colleagues, team members etc - Freud said that it does but he usually doesnt make sense to most sane ppl - The General started getting detatched from work & friends - His colleagues who were dying to sample his fabled cooking skills have probably died by now.

They say that every relationship has a moment which takes it to the next level - That defines the future of the relationship - Since General was not willing to make the first move, so the love demons decided to take matters in their own hands - A party was organized on the pretext of celebration of some success - General walked in the party with his lady in his arms - That was a sight -Warren Betty & Annette Bening would have been jealous!!!!

Now came that moment - The DJ started playing songs and people jumped on the dance floor - Lady love hit the dance with a vengeance - And boy, could she dance !!!! ( collective opinion of people, so no sueing here please)
In a movie, both of them would have joined the dance floor together but this is a real life - General in his training had been trained only in Ball room dancing - Trying to emulate that form in this music would have had created some very strange sights - So General developed cold feet & stood watching his lady love dance away to glory with the handsome men at the floor

Maximus despaired - This is now how it was supposed to be - They were meant to shake up the dance floor with their groovy moves!!!! Y isnt the plan working? Should he order a court martial for the men on the floor - Luckily sense prevailed and his man friday Sudhama came to his rescue - He knew the best medicine which could convert even a buffalo into a sexy salsa dancer ( For record, this statement is not equating General to a buffalo) - He gave the medicine to the General - a mug of strong beer - Bottoms up - And lo, the genie transformed the General into a groovy dancer - He jumped on the dance floor like a man possessed - ( Its rumoured five people got hurt in the process but we havent been able to substantiate that) - And boy he took the lady by the neck, sorry arms and danced - It was a sight to watch ( No vouyerism here please - its nice and clean dancing )
The momentum was building up - Everyone was waiting with bated breath for the moment where General would make the final move

This story like all saas bahu serial would get stretched to Part 4 - This clearly shows Rowling has had no influence on me - So the next episode would be updated next week.

General Marches on

Post a brief break, lets follow General Maximus in his quest to find true love - General in his quest to become the gear box of the organization had shunned all forms of emotions which would weaken his resolve to pursue his single minded dedication towards the goal - Rumour has it that various denizens ( both genders included) tried to break this resolve of his but alas - Love has no place in General's life

But life brings with itself many surprises and the General was no exception to this - Owing to the large scale restructuring that organization was going through, it brought with itself some interesting concoctions - some indigenous and not some so indigenous - As general would have have it, he found himself working with some ppl from far away lands - Till now, General's idea of oriental culture was limited to the Sino-Ludhianwi cuisine he had encountered at eating joints - The General realized life has more to offer than gluttony alone - He started experiencing strange symptoms - faster heart beats, dry mouth, foot in mouth( seen earlier ), stammering and furtive glances - He got perplexed and rushed to the doc thinking its some strange African disease but came back disappointed -

Meanwhile, General's line of work got him in close touch with people from various nationalities - In corporate, they name it global interactions - General found himself getting attracted to such individuals - their green/blue/red(ok, not red) eyes, beautiful smiles, deep eyes, nice lips( Source of all this is General's personal diary which the papparazi managed to lay their hands on) - The interactions increased and General found himself thinking more and more about such people - We even saw him reading a book called - "Talk like an Oriental"( Wrangles)
And then one day, the defining moment came - The tipping point - The first step for the General and a giant leap for blogging material - He asked someone out for coffee - The time had come, the arrow had left the bow, missile had been fired, Bush had spoken - And how can someone say no to the General??

It started with coffee and then to more coffee and then more - General recieved a mail from the coffee awarding him for having increased the per capita consumption of coffee in the country by 2 basis points. The signs of him falling in love was apparent to everyone around him - Funky dressing, manicure, sticky hair gel, a genuine liking for life etc

This need to end abruptly as I have realized about the presentations to be shown on 20'h and 21st - Yawn!!

Kashmir ki Sansani-khez K(h)ali

Once upon a time, in far far away land a not so little boy was born - Usually with most historical personalities, there are some anecdotal stories about their birth, childhood etc etc - You see it adds to the aura of them being child prodigies.
So as the folklores go, this man was a playboy since he was born - There was this nurse called Geena with whom this precious little life had his first affair - An unsubstantiated rumour states that the Guiness Book tried registering this as the smallest age of having an affair but couldnt do it as it could have led to a lawsuit - You see he was still only a month into this world
He grew up fast - We are trying to get pics of his childhood but his close friends vouch that he was a Greek Adonis - ( Any ladies reading this please pardon my saying this - he did sow quite a humungous number of wild oats) - The remnants of the same can be found in the broken hearts Valley in his state( named after him off course)
Fastforward 32 years - This gentleman decides to join a handset firm in sales - He is posted in the northern region of a vast country which is renowed for their senstivity towards most forms of civility - But our man was not be discouraged with such setbacks - He marched on facing tyrannies from the upper echeleons with the elan of General Maximus Decimus Meridius( Russell Crowe's character in Gladiator) - He marched from Sales to a group which sold convergence devices with a vengeance ( the latter directed towards a nonappreciated function called sales) -
General excelled here too - obviously else how can he be a hero ( the tyranny factor from upper echeleons is a comon story in management, so from now its taken for granted)
After 3 years of solid & stupendous performance, he decided to become the gear box of the organization he was working for - Little did he know this movement would change his life - As with all famous people, they have a siginificant better half who shapes their thoughts - General decided that he has dedicated his life to work and that nothing would distract his from his mission - But alas, his heart disagreed with his conclusions

To be continued............................................ ( The next part deals with General's first step to get intwined in the sweet noodles of love )